Up until 2014, I use to spend a lot of my time justifying myself to others. I felt it was necessary to explain myself why I had certain beliefs and desires. I did this because I was afraid of being judged. I thought that if I justified myself than others would accept me.

Looking back, I realized that I was chasing external validation versus focusing on internal validation. The consequence of my need to justify myself made me doubt myself. Can you relate?

After multiple life altering events, I decided I had enough! In this moment my cycle of justifying ended. The outcome of this was that I felt empowered and confident.

During this process I learned 5 reasons why it’s important not to justify yourself to others:

  1. The only person that can wholeheartedly understand and appreciate your needs and desires is you.
  2. You will be happier.
  3. You will feel empowered.
  4. You will have meaningful conversations and set healthy boundaries.
  5. You will love your decisions.

To help you along your journey here are 4 tips you can implement right away to break away from this pattern:

  1. Become aware and observe the person inside of you that wants to justify.
  2. When the need to justify comes up simply observe it, take a step back and ask yourself why do I feel the need to justify myself?
  3. Accept and love the part of yourself that wants to justify.
  4. Find a new way to communicate with others where you don’t give up your power.

My challenge for you is to stop justifying yourself, when there is no need to do so. Share one thing you learned from this post with me below.

With love,


P.S. Share with a friend, colleague or family member that could benefit from this post. Thank you for spreading good vibes! You’ve got this…