Fear is never the issue. Everyone feels fear.
So, you might be thinking what is the issue?
The issue is your relationship with fear. The past few years have been dedicated to my personal growth, and to holding space for other people to create healthy relationship with their fears and to show up as the best version of themselves.
And through this, I have found the following. There are two different ways one can deal with fear, no matter where you are from, what your background is and your social status is.
One way to deal with fear is to allow it to paralyze you. And this paralysis will lead you down a journey of negative self-talk, such as I am not good enough, capable enough, smart enough. And this type of relationship with yourself turns into a lifestyle that can be very difficult to break out of, if you aren’t aware of what is happening. In this situation life happens to you versus life is happening for you.
Can you relate to the above? Have you allowed fear to paralyze you from doing something you have dreamt of: starting that new job/business, getting out of that relationship, asking someone out, traveling, skydiving, etc.?
Don’t worry, we have all been there at some point or another. I know I have. If you are aware that you are allowing fear to take control of your life, the next most important thing is for you to decide that you no longer want to associate with your fear.
Once you decide that you no longer want to associate with your fear, you can move into the second and best way to deal with fear, which is to move past it and move into courage. This is the more challenging option, however the most rewarding. You might be thinking, well, how do I do that? Here are a few simple tips to try:
- Be willing to deal with your fear at hand.
- Take a moment to observe your fear when it arises. Try to understand where in your body you feel it because fear can also be physiological, not just psychological.
- When you have a chance at some point in your day take a moment to understand and reflect on why you are feeling what you are feeling. Being able to pin point and understand where fear is coming from and why it’s present is key to moving past it. Sometimes fear can save your life, and get you out of danger, so not every fear limits you in life. Knowing how to differentiate different type of fears is key.
- If you are feeling fear that does not serve you and paralyzes you from moving forward (ex. asking for a raise, speaking up, starting a business, ending a relationships, etc.), take a a moment to calm yourself down. Try to focus on the breathe, the inhale and exhale for a couple of minutes.
- Once your body and mind feel calm, ask yourself what if my fear is not true, what would me going after what I want look like for me?
- See the new positive vision of what this is, and once you begin to feel good about your vision ask for the universe to give you courage and act from this place.
- Trust yourself.
- Trust the universe.
- Get the right support by finding a trusted individual that has the skill set, and ability to help you along your journey, hold you accountable and call you out on anything you are doing that isn’t serving you. This individual can be a trusted friend, a coach, a psychologist, whatever you are comfortable with, however make sure it’s someone you trust and can help you move past your fear.
- Watch your life unfold in a different direction.
- Become the best version of yourself!
So, take a moment and decide what type of fear you will move past starting today? What has been holding you back? Share below.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela